Malaysians Say The Darndest Things!

Another Malaysian World Record - World’s Oldest Living Person

January 14, 2008

Malaysians should be proud. After previously holding the world record for world’s tallest building in the Petronas Twin Towers, and the world record for a government with the most number of ministers (ok, that’s bullshit), we should now strongly lay claim to have the world’s oldest living person. Malaysia Boleh!

Just for some background info to this amazing story, Malaysiakini reported on the 11th of January 2008 that the Elections Commission has issued a statement clarifying the contents of a widely spread email (which to my dismay, never reached my inbox). The email claimed that there were three underage registered voters (one supposedly as young as 9!) in the Sabak Bernam and Sepang constituencies in Selangor.
Read the news from the Bersih website: http://bersih.org/?p=874

After looking through various blogs for the information, I have found that Kickdefella’s blog has more information and screenshots of these registered voters. Or you could just use the website provided by the Elections Commission http://daftarj.spr.gov.my/ to check on the following IC numbers:
981231081137
991214740101

Many people would jump to the conclusion that these are voters born in 1998 and 1999, but the EC has clarified that these voters were already dead and were born in the 1890s. The Elections Commission has also stated that these voters were in the process of being removed from the electoral roll. I would like to congratulate the Elections Commission for handling this matter in the most efficient manner typical of Malaysian government agencies (efficient as in “you complain, then only we act”). I would also like to congratulate them for reducing the number of phantom voters in this country by 3. I am now extremely glad that the government amended the constitution to extend the chairman’s retirement age by 1 year. This is proof that he is doing his job.

As I was sufficiently intrigued by this whole saga, I decided to become a useful citizen and friend to the Election Commission and I set out to hunt for underage voters in the electoral roll. So off I went and wrote a simple script to automatically check the EC’s website for those voters born in 1988 (which would make them only 20 this year and thus ineligible to vote). The script was running for 3 days, and I gave up after checking until 880105-xx-xxxx, since to check till 881231 will take me another 200 days, and the elections will be already over by then.

I have to report to you, my loyal readers, that I have failed in my attempt to find any underage voters. Shame on me. However, as a consolation, I did succeed in locating a few of Malaysia’s oldest living people.

IC#: 880101126103 (Born 1st January 1888)

IC#: 880102086860 (Born 2nd January 1888)

IC#: 880104125843 (Born 4th January 1888)

IC#: 880105126100 (Born 5th January 1888)

Consolation Prize Winners (you can check these in the EC website as well):
IC#: 890101016931
IC#: 890101026267
IC#: 890102016220
IC#: 890103086685

(Update 25th February 2008: As of now, these IC numbers are no longer found in the voter’s list.)

The current oldest living person recorded is Edna Parker in the United States at 114 years old. We should tell those Americans to shove it, since the results of my search has shown that Malaysia’s oldest living person is now 120 years old. And that’s only 2 years shy of the world record of world’s longest EVER living person at 122 years old.

Our government should send representatives to the Guinness World Book of Records to have this record ratified, so that our country can be proud again, as we were when we achieved the distinction of cooking the longest satay, and also paying the Russians millions of dollars to send our man into space. This record should be a testament to our country’s excellent low-fat cuisine of nasi lemak and roti canai, which probably helped these centenarians live as long as they did. This is also a testament to our country’s excellent health care system, and we should thank the Health Ministry and our Health Minister, Dr. Chua Soi Lek…I meant, Ong Ka Ting.

Malaysia Boleh!

P.S. As news of this amazing world record will most unlikely be printed or shown in the government-owned media, why don’t you let your friends know of this? Forward this blog post as an email to 100 friends and you shall receive eternal bliss. Forward this to less than 100 friends, and you will be cursed by the email gods never to reach the age of 120. Beware!

P.S. again:
I told you it would take me 200 days to run the script for checking all IC numbers in 1988 (or 1888). If I had access to the EC’s database and structure, I can fish out even more information in less than 15 minutes (IT guy in EC, please contact me). Some statistics on how this could be done can be found here:
Cleaning the crooked Malaysia EC(SPR) voters database - Real computing facts vs EC bullshit (caffeinbar)

Other views on the blogosphere:
Below 21 is registered as voters in SPR database (Yogiezblog)

You Might Find These Interesting

• Prepare To Vote: Check Your Registration Status Online
• Answers Regarding Ipoh Timur
• 12th General Elections: Check Where To Vote
• Stopping Anwar Ibrahim In Permatang Pauh: #1: Elections Commission Inconveniences Voters
• Stopping Anwar Ibrahim In Permatang Pauh: Introduction

Thank you for reading Malaysians Say The Darndest Things! If you like what you just read, you should consider subscribing to this blog in a feedreader. Alternatively, you could also subscribe via email, and you will get a daily digest of the day's posts. Your email is strictly protected and will never be used for spam or marketing purposes.