Malaysians Say The Darndest Things!

Round 1: Mahathir Vs. Badawi

April 7, 2008

One’s a former leader lamenting that he made a bad choice in selecting his successor, who is supposedly ruining his party.

“Someone invited me to a human rights conference. They must want to learn about my experiences on using the ISA.”

One’s a current leader who is now more like a sitting duck, with all quarters taking pot-shots at him (including this blog).

“Jeanne’s not pregnant. Tee hee.”

So before we get on to Round 1 of our middleweight (after all, both are neither heavyweights) boxing contest, let’s introduce the fighters.
In the right corner, wearing a Nehru suit and armed with his weapon of choice, the famous sarcastic and ego-bruising remarks, Mahathir!
In the left corner, wearing a baju Melayu and getting a pre-fight back massage from Jeanne, and armed with his famous go-nowhere rhetoric, Abdulllllllahhhh “Pakkkkk Lahhhhh” BAAADDDAAAWIIII!

Ladies and gentlemen, the fight today is intriguing, for Mahathir has been sniping at Badawi for more than 2 years now, and Badawi has never taken the bait and publicly sniped back at Mahathir. The audience is certainly surprised that Badawi has finally broken his silence, and this fight will certainly be a spectacle!

The winner of this contest will gain the satisfaction thinking their views are still respected by the audience, without realizing that it’s all just an illusion. The audience is now sitting back and enjoying this joke of a fight, unfortunately at the expense of our tropical rainforests which have to be cut to accommodate their crap in the newspapers.

Without further delay, let us start Round 1 (all ‘punches’ thrown taken from Malaysiakini website, most are using my own words):

Mahathir: The doctor’s prescription is to cut the sick leg (Badawi) in order to save the other parts so that the whole body can get better and does not die.
Badawi: Saya pantang dicabar!
(Point: Mahathir)

Badawi: When I won a landslide in 2004, you complained of the lack of a strong opposition. Now that we have a strong opposition, you complain that the party has been weakened. What a hypocrite!
Mahathir: I cannot recall.
(Point: Badawi)

Mahathir: You take it for granted that you have the general support of the people, but that’s because there is a general unwillingness to ‘tell you the truth’.
Badawi: I have big ears, I will listen.
(Point: Mahathir)

Badawi: When you were Prime Minister, you muzzled the press, you started ‘Operasi Lalang’ and then put more than 100 people under ISA. And you say I caused the erosion of press freedom?
Mahathir: I cannot recall.
(Point: Badawi)

Mahathir: You like to point to other’s faults, but you just ignore your own faults.
Badawi: Khairy, shield me from that blow! (Khairy takes the punch gamely in the face)
(Point: Mahathir)

Badawi: If there is any evidence of abuse of power, we will certainly ask the ACA to investigate you.
Mahathir: I cannot recall.
(Point: Badawi)

Ding! Ding! Ding! That’s the end of Round 1, ladies and gentlemen, and it’s a tie! Wait, something’s happening. Looks like both Mahathir and Badawi’s arch-enemy has stepped into the ring and they are both tag-teaming to handle the interruption to their visions of grandeur.

Mahathir: Even if you have 30 BN MPs defect, it doesn’t mean you will come to power!
Badawi: You call yourself a leader-in-waiting. You can wait, I’m the leader today.
Common enemy: ungh…
(Point: Mahathir & Badawi)

Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen, for Round 2 of this fight. During this break, I would like you to take some time to read this letter, just for reminiscing on Mahathir’s time as PM.

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