Malaysians Say The Darndest Things!

Saiful’s Fictional Conversation

July 29, 2008

Most of you by now would already have known that a leaked medical report has surfaced indicating that our Malaysian hero, Saiful Bukhari Azlan did not show any signs of being sodomized. For those of you that had no idea, blame the government-owned media for attempting to downplay this piece of important news.

Saiful first went to the Hospital Pusrawi, and was examined by medical officer Mohamed Osman. Saiful had complained of difficulty in taking a shit, and claimed that he had also been sodomized with a plastic object. Subsequently, Mohamed Osman had found “zero active bleeding”, “zero ulcer or pus”, “zero tear and scar” in Saiful’s anus.

He also stated that Saiful appeared “alert”, “comfortable”, “not pale” and did not show any fever symptoms.

You can view the leaked medical reports and draw your own conclusions. Personally, I can’t read the doctor’s handwriting, but I’ll give Malaysiakini the benefit of the doubt that they were able to decipher the handwriting. And the Suara Keadilan link above provides annotations to the report as well.

Now, here’s a question.

Why did Saiful claim that he was assaulted with a plastic object, and not Anwar’s penis? Did he have something to hide? Or perhaps he received instructions from his ‘bosses’? I don’t dare to say who the bosses are, or else, I’ll be on trial for criminal defamation. Just use your imagination. The following conversations are fictional:

Boss: I would like you to frame Anwar Ibrahim for sodomy. It has to look real, and medical reports have to confirm that sodomy was in fact committed.
Saiful: But boss, how? I’m a virgin on the ass.
Boss: I don’t want excuses! I want results!

Saiful thinks hard. Saiful decides to buy one of these from Jalan Pasar in KL. Then Saiful decides to penetrate himself. He even has the mind to use some KY jelly so it would hurt less. Not knowing how a medical checkup would determine if sodomy did occur, our friend Saiful went to the Pusrawi Hospital convinced that he would fool the medical officers there.

Saiful: Saya kena liwat benda plastik. Nak buang air besar pun susah.
Medical officer: Where got. Don’t bluff. I have 20 years of experience.
Saiful: Fuck. Gagal.

Saiful then calls his boss and tells him/her the bad news.

Boss: Why don’t you stay put, Saiful. I’ll send someone over right now to help you make sure the medical report comes out positive.
Saiful: Sure thing boss.
Boss: I hope you like big men.
Saiful: Big men? What do you mean? Are you going to really…Hello? Hello??? Fuck.

The boss hung up on Saiful, and the rest, as we all know, is history. The police are most likely going to wait for Anwar’s ‘fresh’ DNA, so that they can plant new evidence to implicate him. Unfortunately, this leaked medical report really threw a spanner in their plans, and in the coming days, I predict that we will hear of more newly produced evidence against Anwar, probably all fabricated. Perhaps the police will now go back to 1998 and use the same tactic by producing new sodomy victims.

Why do I have such bad impressions over the cops? Malaysiakini also reports on the police threats:

The report of a doctor ruling out that Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan had been sodomised is an attempt to sabotage police investigations, said Deputy Inspector-General of Police Ismail Omar.

He also stated that the report was aimed at confusing the public in relation to the sodomy allegation against PKR de facto leader Anwar Ibrahim.

Ismail was commenting about the report which was published in Malaysiakini as well as in other blogs including Malaysia Today.

According to nstonline, he said the police are considering investigating a “news website and a blog over their reports.”

As far as I know, the only sabotaging seems to be on the police side, who has until now steadfastly refused to reveal ongoing updates about their investigations, even though this case has so much public concern over it. Something to hide perhaps, or not sure of how to obtain more evidence slowing down the investigation?

Like fellow blogger Nat says, “Always targeting the messenger, always ignoring the message”. That’s a most apt description of our men in blue.

Here’s what to look out for the next few days:

a) Calling the medical report to be authenticated. Most of the calls will be by UMNO members. Mohd Ezam has already started the ball rolling. In fact, some moron will most likely call for a Royal Commission of Inquiry to determine the authenticity of the medical report, just like the Lingam videos.

b) Police producing more evidence, for example, more sodomy victims. They were stupid enough to repeat the sodomy allegations, they will be stupid enough to use the same tactics. Those close to Anwar better be careful, or else you will end up coerced into a confession like Sukma Dermawan. Maybe they will get Mohd Ezam to be a volunteer.

c) Abdullah Ahmad Badawi and Najib Razak will maintain their roles of broken records by telling the citizens not to believe the lies in the blogs, and not to believe any rumours, and let the police do their job. I forgot Syed Hamid Albar. Yeah, him as well.

We’ll see what happens la. Until later, enjoy Round 2 of the Anwar-Saiful sodomy saga.

You Might Find These Interesting

• Suspicious Activities And Conspiracies Over Anwar’s Ordeal That All Malaysians Should Know
• Anwar Ibrahim Charged (Quick Thoughts)
• 5 Questions For Mohd Saiful Bukhari
• Stopping Anwar Ibrahim In Permatang Pauh: #2: The Saiful Bukhari Factor
• Mohd Saiful Bukhari Should Make His Blog Relevant

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